I Dare You To Move
by Miss Chandler Bing
Summary: This fanfic is set whilst Rachel and Monica are still in high school. Monica is finding it hard dealing with life, whilst Rachel lives her dream life of parties and boys.
1. Welcome to the planet

I Dare You To Move – Update One

Rachel and Monica walked down the sand dunes towards the shore. "Rachel, I don't know if I want to do this" Monica said. Rachel turned to her best friend and put her hands firmly onto her shoulders and shook her. "Monica, you've done all this work and lost so much weight. Now you look beautiful. So flaunt it."

Monica sighed as she got dragged to the open sand, where she suddenly felt like everyone was looking at her. She tightened her arms around the towel wrapped upon her body. She knew it was stupid to feel insecure now, because she knew she'd lost so much weight. She was so proud of herself. Yet the constant feelings she'd felt everyday of her life were still upon her. She'd never felt any self-confidence in her life and she knew she wasn't about to start now. As soon as Rachel suggested that she buy a bikini and wear it at the local beach, she knew it was a bad idea.

She still envied Rachel, she was perfect in everyway. Her beautiful sandy blonde hair sat flawlessly yet it blew in the wind like beautiful ocean waves. Monica twirled a piece of her brunette hair around her finger as Rachel turned to look at her. "What's wrong?" she asked.

Monica sighed as she realized she had to tell the truth. "Whenever I'm around you, I feel like I can never be as beautiful as you are." Rachel walked up to Monica and put her hands on either side of her face and smiled. "You are beautiful Monica Geller, don't let anyone tell you different. Even yourself."

Monica tried to force a small smile, just to make Rachel feel like she'd succeeded in cheering her up.

Monica was about to speak again when a bunch of guys started walking up to them. Rachel giggled and looked at Monica. "Those are the guys I was talking about. Wanna hang out with them?" Monica smiled nervously towards the guys and then turned to her best friend. "I think I'll just go for a quick walk. I need to clear my head. I'll meet you back here in a bit." Rachel looked at Monica with a worried look on her face. "Okay…" She said with an uncertain tone.

Monica didn't know where she was walking but she just knew she had to get away from all the people, all the eyes she knew were watching her. She knew it was stupid to feel this way, but she just felt anxious, like she didn't belong there.

She kept walking and walking for what seemed like ages until she reached a hill, she could see it would be tough to climb and probably really dangerous. But for some reason she felt an urge to be at the top of it. She wanted to feel alive.

Once Monica reached the top she could see the whole ocean. She could see Rachel in the corner of her eye, splashing around with her model guys. She could see the typical blonde snobs from her school sunbathing their skins off. She was beginning to understand why they are starting to look more like carrots then humans.

She began to walk to the edge of the cliff and she gasped as she saw just how far up she was. Directly below her were piles of rocks. She winced as the waves crashed against them. She wondered how many people actually jumped off the cliff. She knew it wasn't impossible. If she jumped far enough out she could completely miss the rocks altogether.

She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath as she jumped off of the cliff. She suddenly wished she had never done it and she opened her eyes and saw that she was less the metre away from hitting the rocks. She tried to scream but the fall had taken her breath away and she could barely manage to do anything but wait for the landing. She looked down and saw the water right beneath her, she also saw that she was right against the rocks. She entered the water at a rapid speed and she gasped as the water engulfed her.

She thought she'd missed the rocks but then the back of her head smashed into one beneath the surface. She screamed out in pain as she began to black out and her mouth filled with water. She looked around her and realised how beautiful the underwater life is. She slowly closed her eyes and faded out to blackness. The last thing she felt were arms wrapping around her body, making her feel safe and she was no longer scared.


	2. Welcome To Existence

Update Two

Enjoy

Monica opened her eyes and looked around the room. At first she had no idea where she was. But then she realised she was at the local hospital. She sat up and looked around her, and soon realised that there was a strange weight pressuring her right leg. She looked down to see a young man sleeping against the side of the bed. He had his head resting against her so she couldn't see his face. She decided to nudge the guy off her leg, but he didn't move. Instead he let out a quiet snore, which she had to admit was kind of cute. Monica was desperate to see the guy's face; she was curious but also a little bit frightened. She had no idea who this guy was or what he was doing here. She didn't even remember what she was doing here.

The last thing Monica could remember was standing on the edge of the cliff. Suddenly almost like a flashback she remembered falling and hitting her head on the rock, but after that she couldn't remember anything.

Except those arms wrapping around her, and the way she felt. She suddenly realised who the guy lying next to her was. She knew now that she definetly had to see his face. She needed to see the face of the guy who saved her life, her hero.

She tried to nudge him again, but he didn't move. She took a deep breath and clapped her hands together right in front of his face. He suddenly jumped up in a fright that made Monica jump back and she hit her head on the backboard behind her. "Shit" she screamed out. The young man jumped towards her and put both hands on either side of her face. "I'm so sorry, are you okay?" he said.

Monica couldn't reply, she couldn't do anything but get lost in his eyes. She just stared, she knew she looked like a complete idiot, but it was all she could do. She couldn't help but notice the way his eyes were blue like the ocean, and the way that when he smiled he had the cutest little dimples. Then he started to laugh.

"Are you okay? You seem a bit out of it." He said, but it all seemed like a blur to Monica. She wasn't sure whether it was the fact that she'd hit her head twice in the last couple of hours, days, weeks? She didn't know how long she'd been knocked out for. Monica decided she might as well say something, since this guy might be coming to the conclusion that she's a mute.

"How…how long was I out?" She said. The guy smiled. "Not that long" he replied. "You hit your head pretty hard. I saw you jump and I knew you weren't going to clear the rocks. So I ran in after you. I got you to the beach and you were knocked out, but still breathing. Then you woke up on the beach shore for about a minute and you were muttering all different kinds of stuff." He said with a mocking smile on his face, a smile that made Monica realized she'd said something embarassing.

"Oh god, what did I say?" she asked. The guy moved his chair in closer to her so that his face was close enough for Monica to taste his breath, it smelt minty and irresistible. She knew she was being immature for wanting to kiss him, but she couldn't help it. He smiled at her and said, "Well first of all you told me that you just wanted to see what was over the cliff and you tripped. Then you told me that I have beautiful eyes, that were…the colour of the ocean." He started to laugh before he even finished the sentence. Monica groaned and sunk down into the bed, "I'm so sorry. You must of thought I was a loon" The guy shook his head and leaned in towards her. "I actually thought it was kinda cute."

All Monica could do was close her eyes because she knew she would give into temptation if she looked into his gorgeous blue eyes, or see his sweet irresistible smile. She opened her eyes and was about to speak again when Rachel burst into the room.

"Thank god your awake" She screamed. "I'm so sorry for leaving you alone. I should've have let you walk off, and go up that cliff." She sat on the other side of Monica's bed and put her head in her hands.

The guy stood up and began to leave the room, "I better leave you two girls alone. It was nice meeting you Monica." Monica smiled at hearing him say her name. He was about to leave the room when Monica called out to him. "Hey, I don't even know your name."

The guy turned around and smiled. "Chandler, my name's Chandler"

Monica smiled back. "Nice to meet you Chandler" And with that he walked out the door, and Monica was unsure if she'd ever see him again…


	3. Everyone's Here

Update 3

Monica left the hospital and came back home just two hours after her conversation with Chandler. She felt weird when he left, it was like he took part of her with him. He took her confident side, leaving her feeling anxious, depressed but most of all, alone. She could hear Rachel talking about how the guys at the beach invited her to a party tonight. But to be honest, Monica couldn't care less.

Monica walked through the front door to her house, Rachel on one side and her Mum on the other. Her mum turned to Monica and put her hands on either side of her face. She began to squeeze her cheeks together, making her feel like a child.

"Monica dear, your father and I were meant to go have dinner with your brother. But we can stay here with you if you like."

Monica shook her head. "It's fine, you should go. You don't want to disappoint Ross."

Her mother sighed. "Yes your right, and Rachel will be here. Won't you dear?"

Rachel looked up with a worried look. "Um…actually. I've been invited to a party tonight," she said.

Monica's mother looked at Rachel and gave her what they liked to call the 'look of death'. She sighed and rolled her eyes, "Of course you did." She turned back to Monica. "Will you be alright alone here by yourself Mon?"

Monica smiled at the thought of being left alone, no one here to judge her. She'd be able to be herself. "I'll be fine Mum. I'm not a little kid anymore."

So with that her parents and Rachel left and Monica was finally able to be herself. Her anxious, depressed self.

She walked up the stairs to her bathroom and stared at herself. Constant negative thoughts were running through her head.

'They left you because they all hate you'

Monica held her hands against her head and winced. "NO THEY DON'T." She screamed. She knelt down towards the ground and placed her hands on the ground. Her breath became fast and she could feel her heart beating out of her chest.

'You're useless, and everybody knows it'

"SHUT UP!" Monica fell to the ground and curled up in a little ball upon the floor. She began to rock back and forth. She looks down at her wrist where she can see a healed cut. She begins to cry as she began to feel the same way before she lost all her weight. She flashes back to the times where she sat in this very spot, scissors in hand cutting away at the skin which her mind told her was unnecessary. 'It's all fat, you don't need it' her mind would tell her. She would watch the blood drip out of the cut and she would feel incredible. She would feel like her entire world didn't matter. All that mattered was she felt good at the very moment.

Sitting there on that bathroom floor, she felt the sudden urge she'd always felt, yet she knew she had no reason to cut herself. Before she cut herself because she felt fat, she thought if she lost the weight everything would be better, she was wrong. She lent her head back against the vanity and lent over to open the same draw she'd opened many times before. She felt the scissors in her hand and she began to cry, she used all her strength to bring them towards her. She stared at them for a few seconds before throwing them across the room. She couldn't do it. As badly as she wanted to, she just couldn't.

Monica stood up and stared at herself in the mirror. She pulled open the cupboard in front of her and took out a packet of sleeping pills. She knew she just wanted to sleep, to be taken away from the horrible world around her. She didn't want to be able to think.

She took the packet of sleeping pills with her out of the bathroom and walked down the stairs towards the living room. She turned to the liquor cupboard against the wall and grabbed three bottles of alcohol with names she couldn't even pronounce. She brought them up to her room and sat on the floor, she got 6 sleeping pills out of the packet and swallow them all with a mouthful of a disgusting rich tasting alcohol. She had to admit she'd never really drunk before, 'but theres a first time for everything' she thought.. So with that she began to skull down the bottles, one by one.

2 Hours Later

'You're fat'

"NO I'M NOT!"

'No one likes you'

Monica stood up and staggered across the room. "SHUT THE F*CK UP OKAY! I told you to shut up!"

'You're going to end up alone'

Monica grabbed her desk and threw it across the room. She began screaming hysterically. She had no idea what was going on, she knew that she'd drunk heaps but it was almost like she had no control over her body.

'No one would care if you were dead'

Monica walked into the bathroom and stared at herself in the mirror. Her shoulder length brown hair was all over the place. Her makeup was smudged all over her face and she had huge bags under her eyes. She put her hands on either side of her face and cried at the look of herself.

'Your ugly and always will be!'

She screamed and punched the mirror. It shattered and she screamed with pain as the little pieces of glass pierced her hand. She looked at her hand and was suddenly fascinated by the blood. She quickly washed her hand and winced as she pulled the little pieces of glass out. She walked back into the bedroom and saw the mess that she made. Usually this would freak her out because she has always had this weird need for everything to be clean, but right now she didn't care. She laughed to herself, not caring how insane she sounded. She went to her bookcase and threw paper and books across the room. Wincing at the sound of them hitting the floor, the walls, a few even hitting the ceiling.

'You're a freak!'

She stopped right on the spot, she stared out of the window and walked towards the door that lead to the balcony. She slid it open and walked out into the cold air. She took a deep breath and climbed up onto the ledge. She looked down to see the ground about 15 feet below her. She suddenly had the same urge she felt at the cliff, an urge to do something dangerous. She wanted to do something that could hurt. She closed her eyes and let her body relax and with one simple push she felt herself fall off the ledge. She screamed as she fell, the air around her felt cold against her skin. She knew she should of hit the ground by now, so she decided to open her eyes.

She was lying on her bed. She sat up with a fright and began to scream. 'It was all a dream' she thought. She looked across the room, her clean room. It was all back to normal. She looked down at her hand. There were no cuts to be seen. She stood up and looked at the time. 9.30pm,

"How depressing." She said to herself.

She sat on her bed for a few minutes before she decided to go out. She wrapped her coat around her and fixed her hair and makeup and walked out the front door. As she walked down the dark street she put her hood up so no one could recognise her. She knew that she still had a lot of alcohol in her system because she couldn't manage to walk straight. She walked to her favourite 24-hour café and sat outside and stared at the ground, just as a group of teenagers from her school walked past.

"Did you see Gellar at the beach today?" One guy said.

"Yeah she looked pretty good. She's not a whale anymore. Thank god" Said another.

"She'll never be as hot as Rachel though. Whenever I see Monica I still see a fat chick" The first guy replied.

Suddenly a girl's voice interrupted with a laugh. "Monica Gellar will always be fat. She'll always be fat on the inside."

They all laughed as the turned the corner, out of sight.

Monica looked up, tears rolling down her face. She stood up and began to run across the road. She knew excatly where she was going. She needed to feel a rush. She needed to feel like she did in her dream. She was heading for the Great South Bay Bridge.


End file.
